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Alison E. Navigating Modern Parenting: Breaking Free from the ‘Should Storm’

Writer's picture: Chelsea MyersChelsea Myers

Parenting in today’s world can feel like navigating a storm—a 'should storm' of overwhelming societal expectations and pressures. Alison, a pediatrician and author, sheds light on this pervasive phenomenon in her book, Sigh, See, Start.


Through her expertise and personal insights, Alison encourages parents to adopt a mindful and compassionate approach to parenting, breaking free from the relentless cycle of anxiety and guilt.


The 'Should Storm' and Its Impact

The 'should storm' refers to the constant bombardment of messages about what parents should do: how they should raise their children, manage their households, or balance their own needs. Fueled by social media and societal norms, this storm leaves many parents feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. Alison highlights the detrimental effects of this pressure, noting the rise in anxiety among both parents and children.


Adding to the burden is the lack of systemic support for families, such as insufficient family leave policies and the breakdown of traditional community networks. These factors, combined with the shift from “old-school” parenting to intensive, hands-on parenting, have created a perfect storm of stress and isolation for modern families.


Woman with long hair holds head with both hands, looking intently. She wears a white top, with a blurred outdoor background. Somber mood.
A woman with an intense gaze and tousled hair leans on a stone surface, surrounded by soft, blurred architecture in the background.

Finding Connection and Compassion

Alison’s book introduces the Sigh, See, Start method—a simple yet transformative approach to parenting. The method encourages parents to:

  • Sigh: Pause and take a deep breath to reset.

  • See: Observe their child’s behavior without judgment or immediate reaction.

  • Start: Take mindful and compassionate action based on their child’s needs and their own intuition.


This practice allows parents to step out of the should storm, fostering a stronger connection with their children and themselves.


Re-Parenting and Self-Compassion

A key aspect of Alison’s message is the importance of re-parenting—challenging old beliefs and expectations inherited from one’s upbringing. By balancing warmth and authority, parents can create a nurturing environment that supports their child’s emotional and developmental needs.


Alison also emphasizes the value of rupture and repair cycles in building resilient parent-child relationships. Mistakes and conflicts are inevitable, but the process of repairing these moments teaches children how to manage stress and grow from challenges.


A child in a floral hoodie sits on an adult's shoulders in an orchard. Green trees surround them, with a house visible in the distance.
A child sits on an adult's shoulders, exploring an apple orchard surrounded by lush greenery and hints of autumn colors.

A Call for Mindfulness

In a world that often demands perfection, Alison’s insights offer a breath of fresh air. By embracing mindfulness, self-compassion, and the Sigh, See, Start method, parents can navigate the challenges of modern parenting with greater ease and connection.

Her message is clear: to raise compassionate, confident children, we must first extend that same compassion to ourselves.


*Catch Alison's episode here!



*This post was crafted by AI, utilizing details and transcripts from Alison's podcast episode.


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