Postpartum Rage Is Real: Amy Orr’s Story

When we talk about postpartum mental health, most of the conversation circles around depression and anxiety. But for many parents, another reality quietly brews beneath the surface: postpartum rage.

From Burnout to Breaking Point

Before motherhood, Amy worked long hours in film production. “I remember going in on Boxing Day and staying until midnight to finish a government video,” she recalls. “I was pregnant, exhausted, and already burnt out.”

That burnout carried into early parenthood. Her daughter slept in short bursts, leaving Amy constantly on edge. “I had no time for myself, no time to breathe. I’d snap at my kids, scream, even put my toddler down too roughly. Inside, I was screaming at myself to stop, but I couldn’t.”

Her doctor finally put words to what Amy was experiencing: postpartum rage.

A woman, depicted in a red-hued blur, symbolizes the intense and often unspoken experience of postpartum rage.

Naming What’s Been Silenced

Unlike postpartum depression or anxiety, postpartum rage isn’t an official diagnosis. But it’s very real and often overlooked. Amy describes the shame she felt in even considering medication:

“In my head, it was taboo. Taking Lexapro felt like a failure. But the truth is, it saved me.”

She’s not alone. A growing number of parents are speaking up about rage as part of the postpartum spectrum. As organizations like Postpartum Support International note, naming our struggles is often the first step to healing.

Breaking Stigma, Building Support

Amy credits her doctor’s patience and a friend’s openness about mental health medication for giving her courage. She also stresses the importance of connection. “We all need at least one person we can break down with, the kind of person who’s seen the snot bubbles and doesn’t judge.”

But she also points out the cultural barriers. In Ireland, as in many places, the attitude of “grin and bear it” still lingers. “Our parents’ generation didn’t have the language for this. They just pushed through. We deserve better.”

The importance of having someone who truly understands and supports our emotions is key.

Parenting with Honesty

Today, Amy speaks openly with her children in age-appropriate ways. “If I’ve been snappy, I’ll say, ‘I’m sorry, I’m really tired or in pain today.’ It’s not about being perfect. It’s about showing them that feelings are normal and manageable.”

That same openness fuels her current work through Youme, where she educates schools on sustainable period products and helps dismantle stigma around menstrual health.

Why This Conversation Matters

Postpartum rage may not be in the DSM, but it’s part of countless parents’ lived experience. By naming it, supporting each other, and embracing tools like therapy, medication, and community, we can move beyond shame and toward healing.

As Amy puts it: “I’m a better mother, a better wife, and a better me on medication. And my kids deserve that. I deserve that.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with postpartum mental health, resources are available at postpartum.net.

To hear Amy's story in her own words, listen to her episode of Quiet Connection: Postpartum Mental Health Podcast.